Sensing Spring
It doesn’t affect me often, but every once in a while, I experience awful sensory overload. It was never an issue—until after my car accident on September 9, 2012. I sustained a brain injury, and doctors put me on medication, assuming my brain chemistry had likely changed. But I thought I didn’t feel any different; I didn’t need them. So, with my TBI doctor’s approval, I stopped taking them.
Oh, let me tell you—I absolutely did need them.
Last night at work was one of those nights. The music was a little louder than usual, a private party upstairs had its own blaring playlist, the bar was packed with people shouting over each other, and—my personal favorite—guests trying to get my attention while I was clearly in the middle of something. Even after signaling that I saw them and would be right there, they still insisted on interrupting.
It was sensory overload at its finest. I couldn’t wait for my shift to be over. When this happens, all my senses feel heightened, my thoughts become scattered, and even the simplest tasks take longer to complete. The whole time, I feel overwhelmed—just counting down the minutes until I can finally step away from it all.
Finally, last call was done—alcohol at 1:45, food at 2:45—and everyone was cashed out. By 3:00 AM, we were officially closed, and my manager got everyone out.
That’s when I really felt how much the sensory overload had drained me. Normally, I’d have my tips counted, and my report ready, and be rushing to finish my sidework duties so I could get home. But last night, everything took so much longer. My brain felt foggy, my body sluggish. The sheer amount of stimulation had completely worn me out, making even my usual closing routine feel like an uphill battle.
I’ve been trying to add a Saturday morning workout class before my shift at The Post, but after last night’s shift, it just wasn’t happening. Before I even got home, I canceled my Pure Barre class for the morning—even though I needed it to complete my challenge this month. Yesterday, I talked about how much I love a challenge and how hard I can be on myself when I don’t follow through. I was determined to finish so I wouldn’t feel bad about it, and in turn be hard on myself. But canceling my class ahead of time, rather than oversleeping and missing it last-minute, is a big sign of growth. I can be incredibly stubborn—especially when it comes to proving a point, especially to myself—so making that decision in advance was a huge step forward. And at that moment, I still fully believed I was going to finish the challenge.
So after last night’s sensory overload, I realized I needed a better way to cope with those overwhelming moments at work. The constant noise, the crowd, and the pressure made everything feel like too much, and I found myself struggling to stay focused. Time to invest in a new fidget spinner for work—something that has helped me regain control and refocus when things get too chaotic. I've always found that little repetitive motion calms my mind, but over the years, I would always give the ones I had away to little kids at work, who seemed like they needed a distraction themselves.
So now, I’m on a mission to find a new one—something with a smooth spin that feels right. It might seem small, but in those moments of overwhelm, having a simple tool to ground myself could make all the difference. Anything to help me push through, refocus, and make it through my shift with a clearer mind.
