Where do I begin…

Throughout my life, I’ve struggled with worrying about what others think—not just about me as a person, but about everything I do or say. I spent years trying to be perfect, to be liked by everyone, only to realize that it’s not just impossible—it’s exhausting.

I don’t expect anyone to read this or even care about what I have to say. But if it resonates with someone who has faced similar struggles, or if it helps someone understand me—whether they know me, think they know me or don’t know me at all—then it serves its purpose.

Looking back, I can pinpoint a moment that changed the course of my life. As children, we absorb everything around us—the good and the bad. My mother, a 17-year-old single parent, sent me to a private Catholic elementary school, sacrificing whatever she had to give me the best opportunities. Only as I got older did I truly understand the irony behind a single teenage mom, sending me to a “private Catholic elementary school',” especially in the 90s.

Of all the lessons I took from my 8 years at St. Agatha, one stood above the rest: “Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.” More than religion, they instilled in us integrity, respect, and a moral foundation that shaped who I am today.

That’s not to say I haven’t made mistakes or lost my way. I have. There were times when my choices didn’t reflect the values I was taught. But every setback, every wrong turn, and every struggle has shaped me. And for that, I am grateful.

I’ve gained a lot of personal growth through therapy, but I’ve also realized that reading my thoughts helps me uncover even deeper aha moments. Putting everything into writing isn’t just about sharing my story—it’s about seeing myself more clearly and making sense of the patterns, fears, and beliefs that have shaped me.

I also know that real growth only happens when I step outside my comfort zone. And for me, that means confronting the fear of rejection and failure that has kept me stuck for so long. I want to believe in myself the way one of my professors, Prof Wade, from my time at the University of Michigan believes in me. When I hear him describe my experience and character, I catch myself thinking, Wow, that person sounds incredible—I wish I were like that. But deep down, I know that person is me. I just need to start seeing myself through that same lens.

I look forward to beginning this journey of self-reflection—embracing discomfort as a path to growth and finally becoming completely comfortable with who I am.